If you ask a mother, after your child is studying, do you want him to be a school bully in the class?
I believe most mothers will nod.
After all, "knowledge can change destiny", few people will refute.
But in real life, not every mother can do it.
There are even many children whose grades are always at the bottom, giving parents headaches.
But this mother Zhan is amazing.
She turned a daughter who was once a school scum, and she became a school bully!
Mom Zhan and daughter Qingyun
Mom Zhan is a high school teacher, but when her daughter entered first grade, her grades were very poor, almost at the bottom.
She was not discouraged, nor did she accuse her daughter of shame on herself, but instead encouraged her child to say:
"It's okay, my mother will just figure it out. By the fourth grade, you will be the best student in the school."
Unfortunately, by the fourth grade, her daughter was still at the bottom.
So she continued to encourage:
"Don't be discouraged, my mother has done it again. The first time you became the youngest was in the first day."
In this way, under the deception and encouragement of my mother again and again.
In the second year of high school, her daughter Zhan Qingyun really became the first in the school.
Seeing this result, Mom Zhan said calmly:
"Mom said a long time ago, you must be fine!"
In the village where Mother Zhan lives, the educational conditions are very poor. In order to give her daughter a better education, she repeatedly transfers her children to school.
From the village to the county seat, and then from the county seat to the city, her daughter's performance has just improved, and her mother asked her to adapt to a better environment.
With her mother's constant encouragement, Xiao Qingyun's achievements also sang along.
Not only did she enter the university, she also went on to study for a master's degree, and eventually got a doctorate from Harvard University.
For ordinary working families, it is not easy for children to study in the United States.
In order to support her daughter, Mother Zhan and Father Zhan decisively loaned 1 million yuan.
After returning from school, her daughter finally understood her mother's good intentions:
"When I grow up, I know how lucky I am. If it weren't for the hard work of my parents, I would not have today."
@ 《Wonderful China Story》
After college, Zhan Qingyun fell in love with the debate and won numerous awards.
In 2015, he participated in Shandong Satellite TV's original speech program "Wonderful China Talk" and won the championship;
In 2018, he won the title of "Best Debater" in the "Chinese Debate World Cup".
From 2018 to 2019, I participated in the debate show "Qi Qiu Shuo" produced by iQiyi twice in a row and was sought after by many netizens ...
The daughter she has cultivated is so good that her education methods have also begun to be recognized and learned.
It is true that each child's talents are different, and it is unknown whether they will become successful when they grow up.
But I have to deny that good family education methods play a vital role in the growth of children.
So what are Zhan's education methods worth learning?
I believe he is the best child in the world
Most parents, scum children with poor grades, are anxious, irritable, and even lose their temper.
But Ms. Zhan never did.
When her daughter's grade was the worst, she was scolded by a teacher as a "stupid pig".
The teacher even told her directly:
"Your daughter can't get into high school, so go to a technical school early!"
Mom Zhan listened, and did not blame the child, nor was she discouraged.
She always believes that "my child is the best child in the world", and keeps cheering on her daughter.
I have to say that the patience and encouragement of the mother has made her daughter excellent.
The same is the case of scum children. Parents use different methods to educate and will receive different results.
My girlfriend's son is more than 5 years old. She is a little introverted and slow to learn in kindergarten. She has always had a headache.
My girlfriend is very worried that he will become a scum after entering elementary school, and has worked hard to educate many times, but with little effect.
Her husband has a bad temper and sometimes can't help scolding the child.
But the children who were scolded and cried, instead of growing, they were even behind ...
Later, my girlfriends read some books on child psychology, and slowly began to change methods to learn to encourage children.
She worked hard to discover the merits of her child and praised her every time she made a small improvement.
Over time, the child gained self-confidence, and his results improved a lot.
In fact, each child has its own unique growth code.
Some children are like flowers, and the wind blows when they are blown; some children are like tough bamboo, and they need to be patient enough to grow.
There is a saying that is good: everyone is a talent, and the worst result is just a late bloomer.
Every child also has the potential to be tapped. Whether he can become a talent depends on whether his parents have patience and whether he has given him enough trust.
Learn to treat children as friends
I have seen a lot of children around me, and people are not stupid, but they are just playful and do not like learning.
As a child, Zhan Qingyun also experienced such a stage.
She likes reading books that have nothing to do with learning, and even likes Jin Yong.
I also like boys playing basketball and four-wheel drive.
Changing to another parent may have been angry: bad grades, what to play?
But mother Zhan and father Zhan never did that.
They have always believed that naughty children are actually breaking free of worldly shackles. As long as they are properly guided, they will become wealth in the future.
My daughter likes extra-curricular books, and Mother Zhan desperately buys for her daughter. She also takes her to the bookstore during the break to show her enough.
My daughter likes four-wheelers. Dad Zhan sold the coffee tables and sofas in the living room and installed a four-wheel drive lane for her daughter.
Reading with the children and playing with the children, they really did, and treat the children as friends.
Some people say that if she plays with her children every day, can't she keep up with her studies?
In fact, otherwise, the child will trust you more and more in the process of playing. At this time, you will guide him to learn, and the effect will be more effective.
If you always use authority to order your children and force them to obey, it will only be counterproductive.
Only by respecting and trusting the child can he share his secrets with you and you can participate in his life.
Children who were severely loved by their parents, fly higher
Many mothers of elementary school students told me that the current education not only fights the children, but also the energy of the parents.
If parents do not care about their children and rely on him alone, his chances of becoming a good child will be much lower.
Like Zhan's mom and Zhan's dad, they are meticulous in their children, from life to learning to mental health.
Once the daughter violated the discipline at school and was arrested by the instructor. The entire class was deducted.
The class teacher scolded her for two full lessons, and called her parents for criticism and education.
Dad Zhan knows, while apologizing to the teacher, enlighten her daughter not to be too sad.
At noon it was time to eat, and he was still worried, and went to school secretly to ask her daughter to eat hot pot to soothe her mood.
Zhan Qingyun and Dad
After falling in love with the debate, Zhan Qingyun has won numerous awards. Each time she has a spirit of dare to challenge and never give up.
All this comes not only from personal efforts, but also from the boundless love of her parents.
He was naughty when he was young, and he was tolerated by his parents.
Her grades were not good after school, others denied her, and her parents gave her confidence.
No matter what difficulties and setbacks she encounters when she grows up, she is never worried.
Because her parents are always behind her, she has no lack of security, so she has no fear.
Some people worry that although the parents have a good education method, they are not too utilitarian? Can the child accept it?
In a debate, Zhan Qingyun said this to himself:
"In fact, my parents' desire for me is never to be outstanding, but to be happy. They never forced me to achieve much, but allowed me to be myself."
If a child already regards learning as a pleasure, shouldn't the parents have fun?
Where Zhan Qingyun's parents are the brightest is not:
I did not force the child, but the child easily became a school bully?
Parenting is not an easy task.
When we complain that the child is not good enough, in fact, we should think more about whether we are good enough, whether we love him, respect him, and trust him.
People often ask: what kind of parents are qualified?
It's simple: love children unconditionally.
Regardless of whether the child has a good or bad test score, treat him the same; no matter what interests the child has, respect him.
No matter what life choices your child makes and whether they meet their expectations, you must choose to trust him and support him.
Even if the world says he can't, you still have to believe that your child is the best in the world.
Children raised by such parents, even if they cannot become excellent talents, will certainly have a happy life.
Life has a long way to go. Only children who have grown up in love and tolerance have the confidence to face this thorny world! Back to Sohu, see more